HER
There are a couple of shows on TV that I watch that are based around the polygamist lifestyle, Big Love and Sister Wives. Being the open mind that I am, I love seeing alternate lifestyles lived successfully. I enjoy both of these shows tremendously and, although polygamy is not for me, I have no problem with the life in the abstract as with Big Love or in reality as with Sister Wives.
HE and I were talking about Big Love after watching the season premier last week and HE let me know just how awful he felt the practice of multiple wives really is to him. I never realized that he felt that way. HE told me that no one could ever live in a marriage like that and really be happy but I don’t think that is true.
I believe that just because a someone lives differently than we do, doesn’t mean that it’s wrong or that they can’t find happiness in their life, different as it may be. No, I don’t think that all plural marriages are happy just like not all traditional marriages are happy. I do think that women and men can find happiness in a plural marriage…I imagine it removes some of the need for a woman to try and meet all the needs of a man, it becomes a shared responsibility.
I actually believe that it probably builds a sense of family that we, the more traditional folks out there, will never know. Yes, if you are a woman in this lifestyle you are going to have to really learn to share in the greatest sense of the word; if you are a man, you’re going to have more responsibility than any man in a one man-one woman marriage could ever imagine. I think that most people looking at plural marriage zero in on the sexual aspect but if you live in the real world, you know that sex is but a small part of marriage and I’m sure that the same is true in plural marriages. But, in speaking about the sexual aspect, it’s doubtful that your spouse would ever leave you for lack of sex in a plural marriage as so many do in singular marriages since there are other wives to share that area just like they would share the cooking, cleaning and child-rearing aspects.
If it sounds like I am all for polygamy, I’m not…at least not for me. I just believe in “live and let live” to the umpteenth degree. I actually don’t know why polygamy is against the law. No one says that everyone has to participate in multiple marriages but why should those who choose and/or believe in living this way be prevented from it? I don’t condone the forcing of marriage on anyone and certainly not on underage girls so that is not a part of what I’m talking about…that’s just wrong all the way around…but for consenting adults, why not? How does the living (and loving) arrangements of one family affect your life? How does it make your marriage worth any less if the family next door has three or even ten wives?
People just don’t seem to be able to appreciate what they have without the need to feel superior to others, if you ask me. My marriage is good because it’s right and proper and the way it was meant to be. What sense does that make? Why do we feel the need to try and force our ideals of what is right upon everyone else?
Big Love is about a fictional family basing their lifestyle on what they believe to be a religious calling for multiple marriages…Sister Wives is the reality mirror based on that same thing. I adore both families, the real and the imagined, but for the sake of this discussion I am thinking about reality and not fiction.
The patriarch of the Sister Wives family, Kody Brown, and his four wives, Mari, Janelle, Christine and Robyn, along with the family’s 19 children, are a family, non-conventional as they may be, they are a family. They are big and loud, rowdy and fun, honest and true, jealous and pained, hard working and kind…they are all the things that every other successful family can ever wish to be, together. They are doing what all the rest of us on this planet are doing, muddling along and making things up each day as they go along.
I say, everyone needs to get out of your neighbor’s bedroom and allow people to live in the way they see fit, whether it fits with your idea of a what’s right or wrong or not. Let others determine what is right for them…let them make their choices and decisions and, yes, even their own mistakes if that’s what it comes down to. Why do we, as a country, have to legislate everything under the sun? When did it become the government’s job to police the morality of the people?
I think the government needs to get back to the business of governing; take care of the needs of the people and the country and get out of their bedrooms. Like polygamy or not, no one else’s family composition should be your concern so let’s get busy electing leaders who believe in the same ideals that our country was founded on…Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.
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HIM
First of all let me say that this is not for me,no way,never.
I believe that sex is the most intimate,personal thing two-yes two-people can share.Polygamy throws this idea to the wind.
Normally anything that doesn’t directly affect me,i say let people do whatever they want,but this is just wrong. You just cannot trust a partner who is intimate with anyone but you. With that said,i do not think polygamy should be legalized.
I consider myself to be very liberal but some things ignorant people need to be protected from and this is one of them.
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So, as you can see, this is one of the few issues that he and I differ on. There are very few issues that you’ll find us on such polar opposite ends of the belief spectrum but this is definitely one. I believe HIS thoughts mirror the thoughts of much of the rest of the nation…but I’m entitled to my views, too.
So, what are your views on polygamy…yes or no?
Next time, the American healthcare system…be sure to come back for our views on this controversial subject.
Until Next Time,
Him & Her
